Creating a creative life, with Fibromyalgia

Well, if you were waiting for the next installment of my last post, my apologies. It seems like my last great wave of  brilliance and blogging enthusiasm was 5 years ago..how sad, but I've been living over at short-attention-span FaceBook (..or as my brother calls it, A**Book.)

I am getting frustrated with the incessant "liking" of things and responding in short bursts. Today I feel like writing about my non-making of art for the last few years... 
Years ago, following an accident that injured my back, I started having cycles of fatigue and physical pain that seemed random, and merely annoying...but around 6 years ago, they became more frequent and severe...their appearance became chaotic..sometimes mimicking sprains, joint problems-- and doctors who were sure they knew what what going on, started looking at me like I was a looney or a junkie when diagnostics didn't match the pain I "claimed" to have..then came IBS flares, arm tremors (lots of fun when handing papers across a conference table).. embarrassing, sporadic  memory loss....muscle spasms in my legs and back that rotate my pelvis out of position.

I felt increasingly hopeless, until an insightful surgeon realized that something else was going on-- I jumped and screamed when touched on a spot that should not have hurt at all. Many,many expensive tests later I got the diagnosed of "Fibromyalgia syndrome" from a Rheumatoligist ,who then told me that his group did not treat patients with Fibromyalgia. Thanks,Universe.

So my journey began in trying to find information, clinical trial outcomes, support groups. I've gone through the stages of grief over and over, while trying to accept the new me, the one who can't do some of the things I love easily or at all; trying to define and focus on what I can do, and cherish the days when  the gift of energy is mine. I have gone through a time of life chaos, hanging on by fingertips as my self-image and my home/art space also slipped into chaos, and I abandoned all dreams of a creative life to pain.

I am luckier than many with this syndrome...I still can work and earn a living, although that means there is little physical or emotional energy left for anything else; I cannot take many of drugs pushed on TV and still work ,drive..and think.
So,this is my new mission and focus: trying to believe in myself as an artist trying to begin creating art again...and redefine what that means as I struggle with physical limitations, and my sadness about  that loss.